POSTAL SCAM

Can you circulate this around, especially as Christmas is fast approaching - it has been confirmed by Royal Mail.

The Trading Standards Office are making people aware of the following scam:

A card is posted through your door From a company called PDS Parcel Delivery Service) suggesting that
They were unable to deliver a parcel and that you need to contact them on 0906 6611911 0906 6611911 0906 6611911 0906 6611911 (a Premium rate number).

DO NOT call this number, as this is a mail scam originating from Belize . If you call the number and you Start to hear a recorded message you will already have been billed £15 for the phone call.

If you do receive a card with these details, then please contact Royal Mail Fraud on 02072396655 or ICSTIS
(the Premium rate service regulator) at www.icstis.org.uk


Jim Clegg
IMS/HSEA Manager
GN/GE Track Renewals
Kings Cross Platform 'Y'
Tel: 07713 986377
E-mail: james.L.clegg@carillionplc.com

A lady walks into Tiffany's. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little 'whoops' and prays that a sales person wasn't anywhere near. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her and he's good looking as well.

Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Tiffany's. He politely greets the lady with,'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?'

Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'

He answers, "Madam, if you farted just looking at it - you're going to shit when I tell you the price."

SWINE FLU ALERT

Dr. Vinay Goyal is an MBBS,DRM,DNB (Intensivist and Thyroid specialist), having clinical experience of over 20 years.
The following message given by him; I feel it makes a lot of sense and is important for all to know

The only portals of entry are the nostrils and mouth/throat. In a global epidemic of this nature, it's almost impossible not coming into contact with H1N1 in spite of all precautions. Contact with H1N1 is not so much of a problem as proliferation is.

While you are still healthy and not showing any symptoms of H1N1 infection, in order to prevent proliferation, aggravation of symptoms and development of secondary infections, some very simple steps, not fully highlighted in most official communications, can be practiced (instead of focusing on how to stock N95 or Tamiflu):

1. Frequent hand-washing (well highlighted in all official communications).


2. "Hands-off-the-face" approach. Resist all temptations to touch any part of face (unless you want to eat, bathe or slap).

3. *Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine if you don't trust salt). *H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the throat/nasal cavity to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms. Simple gargling prevents proliferation. In a way, gargling with salt water has the same effect on a healthy individual that Tamiflu has on an infected one.. Don't under estimate this simple, inexpensive and powerful preventative method.

4. Similar to 3 above, *clean your nostrils at least once every day with warm salt water. *Not everybody may be good at using a Neti pot, but *blowing the nose hard once a day and swabbing both nostrils with cotton swabs dipped in warm salt water is very effective in bringing down viral population.*


5. *Boost your natural immunity with foods that are rich in Vitamin C. *If you have to supplement with Vitamin C tablets, make sure that it also has Zinc to boost absorption.

6. *Drink as much of warm liquids (tea, coffee, etc) as you can. *Drinking warm liquids has the same effect as gargling, but in the reverse direction. They wash off proliferating viruses from the throat into the stomach where they cannot survive, proliferate or do any harm.

I suggest you pass this on to your entire e-list; you never know who might pay attention to it - and STAY ALIVE because of it -

POLICE WARNING

IMPORTANT

Warning..!!!!
Just last weekend on Friday night we parked in a public
Car park. As we drove away I noticed a sticker on the
Rear window of the car. When I took it off after I got home,
It was a receipt for petrol. Luckily my friend told me not to
Stop as it could be someone waiting for me to get out of the
Car Then we received this email yesterday.

WARNING FROM POLICE
THIS APPLIES TO BOTH WOMEN AND MEN
BEWARE OF PAPER ON THE BACK WINDOW OF YOUR VEHICLE--
NEW WAY TO DO CARJACKINGS (NOT A JOKE)'

Heads up everyone! Please, keep this circulating.. You walk
Across the car park, unlock your car and get inside. You
Start the engine put it into Reverse.

When you look into the rearview mirror to back out of your
Space, you notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle
Of the rear window. So, you stop and jump out of your car to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view.
When you reach the back of your car, that is when the carjackers appear out of nowhere, jump into your car and take off. They practically run you over as they speed off in your car.

And guess what, ladies? I bet your purse is still in the car.
So now the carjacker has your car, your home address, your
Money, and your keys. Your home and your whole identity are
Now compromised!


BEWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME THAT IS NOW BEING USED.

If you see a piece of paper stuck to your back window, lock your doors and just drive away.
Remove the paper later. And be thankful that you
Read this e-mail. I hope you will forward this to friends and
Family, especially to women.
A purse contains all kinds of personal information and identification documents, and you certainly do NOT want this to fall into the wrong hands.


Please tell all your friends






Gwyn Comley

Community Area Coordinator -
Chippenham and Rural Villages
Neighbourhood Watch
Tel: 01249 654758

At 5 pm Sergei was the only one who walked through the door. I dreaded that we would have a bad shift, running around like headless chicken in the nursing unit.... however with good organization and team work we finished way ahead as we had expected earlier. He is fun to work with and we have the same interest, i.e TRAVELLING.

British Hospitals - True Story

1. A man dashes into the A&E dept. And yells . . 'My wife's going to have her baby in the taxi'.

I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the taxi, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly after protests from the lady I noticed that there were several taxis - - - and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald , St.. Andrews Hosp. Glasgow



2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.
'Big breaths,'. I instructed.

'Yes, they used to be,'. . . Replied the patient..

Submitted by Dr. Richard Barnes , St.Thomas's Bath



3 One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her on her mobile phone reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a
'massive internal fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg Royal London Hosp.



4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment, he told me that he was having trouble with one of his medications.
'Which one ?'. . .. I asked.

'The patch; the Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!'

I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
Now, the instructions includes removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk General



5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked 'How long have you been bedridden?'
After a look of complete confusion she answered .'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was still alive.'

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Maidenhead Royal Kent



6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . ...' So how was your breakfast this morning?'

'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste.'. . Bob replied.

I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labelled 'KY Jelly.'

Submitted by Dr. Leonard J. Brandon . Bristol Infirmary.



7. A nurse was on duty in the A&E when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered . . It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for an immediate operation..
When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read . .'Keep off the grass'

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which read 'Sorry . . . Had to mow the lawn.'

Submitted by Staff Nurse RN Elaine Fogerty , KGH London

Dr. Wouldn't submit his name

Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck

don't worry, be happy

Maulder, is that you?

Alone In The Dark

'The FUTURE belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams'

Eden Sarah Brightman

malicous websites

malicous websites usually have no 's' when they ask you to sign in, like the one below. I got this from a YM contact called Daniel Walter (boylee28) and he wanted me to sign in to view his latest pictures. Whatever his intention was, I am sure it is something not good.

jangan sign in laman web yang tak ada 's' di 'http', ada seorang kenalan dari YM, Daniel Walter (boylee28) yang kononnya nak tunjuk gambar terbarunya. Entah apa tujuan dan niatnya, yang pasti dia berniat buruk.

http://www.freewebtown.com/kjhasd/Yahoo.html

unforgivess is like poison

it slowly kills you from within and your heart will be consumed by hatred.